From the musical Floyd Collins
FLOYD
Homer? Homer? Ya thar, buddy?
HOMER
What's made a' stone,
but's soft like a pillow?
FLOYD
That's not what I asked you. What's pink and green an' flies all over?
HOMER
What's made a' stone,
but is soft like a pillow?
Where you kin lay on top
or sink down in it?
Where you kin git underneath,
but it don't crush you.
Come on, think now.
You better think now, Floyd.
Give it some thought, now.
It ain't hard!
You know;
I know you know.
I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago
when a day wasn't done
if we didn't raise hell,
and the sun put us under a magic spell.
Huh? You're a dumb-ass, you know that? You must be the dumbest-ass...
FLOYD
Shut up! I got it.
HOMER
Wal?
FLOYD
Sand!
HOMER
Sorry.
FLOYD
But it's made a' stone and soft like a feather, you kin lay on top or sink down in it...
HOMER
Yeah, but that ain't this riddle and you ain't got it yet,
so keep thinkin', an use yer brain this time.
What's made a' stone
but's soft like a pillow?
FLOYD
I done' tol' you already, Homer. I said 'sand', like the Great Sand Cave.
HOMER
An' I said, 'Sorry'.
What's made a' stone
but is soft like a pillow?
Where you kin float on top
or dive down in it?
Where you kin sink underneath
but it don't crush you?
Come on, think now.
You better think now, Floyd.
Give it some thought, now.
It' ain't hard!
You know;
I know you know.
I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago
when you'd say to me,
"Homer, are you ready?
Are you set?"
An' I'd say to you,
"Floyd, are you ready to git wet?"
FLOYD
I know!
What's soft jes' like a pillow,
made a' rock, carved in stone?
The answere to the riddle
surely is the quarry!
BOTH
The quarry!
FLOYD
The sun beatin' down
on our faces all blisterin' hot, Homer.
We'd run off alone
to our own secret spot, Homer.
Under the shade
'side our ol fishin' hole,
we'd each have some worms
an' an ol' fishin' pole.
HOMER
With school far away
like it warn't there at all, Floyd.
We'd hook for a day
and we'd sure as hell have us a ball, Floyd.
Go for a swim
jes' to cool off our hide;
float on top
with the sky open wide.
FLOYD
All right, okay-- I got one fer you.
What's got a trunk an' a tail
an' fifty limbs?
HOMER
Ssh, I'm concentratin' on diggin', Floyd.
FLOYD
You ain't concentratin', you fibber.
You jes' a wee bit slow in the head, jes' like you always was...
a wee bit slow.
What's got a trunk an' a tail
an' fifty limbs?
That you kin ride all day
but you don't go nowhere,
only front to bark, to an' fro?
Come on think now.
You better think now, Homer.
Give it some thought, now.
It ain't hard!
You know;
I know you know.
I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago
when a day didn't pass
when you couldn't catch us tryin'
to ride it high till it felt like flyin'!
HOMER
I know!
The answer to the riddle--
trunk an' a tail an' fifty limbs!
The answer to the riddle
surely is the swing tree!
BOTH
The swing tree!
HOMER
We'd shimmy on up
like an Indian huntin' a squirrel, Floyd.
FLOYD
Da, da, dacky, dicky, da.
Da, da, dacky, dicky, dicka.
HOMER
Up to the crook
where we could look down on the world, Floyd,
FLOYD
Da, da, dacky, dicky, da.
Da, da, dacky, dicky, dicka.
HOMER
out on a limb
where that ol' rope was hung,
high 'bove the water,
waitin' to be swung.
FLOYD
Da, da dacky, dicky, da.
BOTH
Da, da dacky, dicky, dicka.
Slide down the rope
an' my legs start to pump, Floyd/Homer.
HOMER
Da, da dacky, dicky, da.
FLOYD
Da, da, dacky, dicky dicka
BOTH
My heart starts to pound,
an' my head starts to thump Floyd/Homer.
FLOYD
Da, da, dacky, dicky, da
BOTH
Da, da dacky, dicky, dicka.
Higher an' higher I'm swingin' along.
We'd git to singin'
that ol's swingin' song!
Da, da dacky, dicky, da.
Da, da dacky, dicky, dicka.
Da, da dacky, dicky, da.
Da, da dacky, dicky, dicka.
Da, da dl'dicky, dicky, dicka.
Da, da, dl'dicky, dicky, dicka.
Da, da dl'dicky, dicky, dicka.
Da, da, dl'dicky, dicky, dicka.
FLOYD
An' when I don't weigh nothin'
light as air, I let go.
Spinnin' off an' flippin' over;
All that water far below.
An' I open up for my swan dive,
my spread eagle,
my Jesus-on-the-cross!
For thine is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory...
Forever an' ever...
through the flashing sun...
Ever an' ever...
Over an' over...
fallin' into that black water...
An' that rock,
stickin' up an' comin' at my face!
That cold, black grave...
cold grave...
grave...
HOMER
Floyd? Floyd, come on back now... It's me, buddy, come to yer rescue.
Now you jes' lie there an' rest, 'cause I'm about to git you free.
Now here's the final riddle, Floyd. See if you kin answer me this:
What's strong as a bull
an' smart as a fox?
Quick as a hare
an' stubborn as a mule,
kin make like a snake
through the tiniest hole,
kin get hung up for days
an' turn out fine?
Look-ee here, now.
There ain't no two ways about it.
You don't have to worry at all,
we're almost there.
You know;
I know you know.
I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago
when a day didn't end
that we didn't help each other,
kinda like a friend an'
kinda like a brother.
An' it don't matter none
if it's me or if it's you;
There ain't no hole
that we can't pull through!
FLOYD
I know!
HOMER
Hot damn!
FLOYD
Yessir!
HOMER
Oo-ee!
FLOYD
It's good to see you Homer!
HOMER
We better clean you up
before they take your picture!
FLOYD
You jes' as ugly as you ever was!
What yook you so damn long?
Takin' too much like you always are.
HOMER
What's black an' fast an' shiny?
FLOYD
Fast enough to make a panther squall?
HOMER
Who's gonna be there in it?
FLOYD
Lookin' fine an' sittin' tall!
HOMER
Straight to Louisville, who will tear?
FLOYD
Far away from the toil an' care...
HOMER
With money to burn,
FLOYD
On a hell of a spree,
HOMER
the devil to pay?
BOTH
It's plain to see;
That's an easy one:
That's us!
That's us!
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