Song of the day: "The Right Regrets" by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

This is another song from the NBC TV show Smash. In general, I haven't really liked the songs in Season 2, but this is a great one. Debra Messing and Christian Borle did a great job acting this song, too. I like the theme about writing, which is unusual.

A writer has the empty page where he can set the scene
He puts the actors on the stage or on the movie screen
The characters all say the words the writer wants to hear
And then my friend; a happy end

But when the writer steps outside that room where he is king
He can't control when lives collide or what the lovers sing
And so he hides behind his words the one place he belongs
And in black and white he can rewrite the wrongs

Where he can find the strength to say what those he loves should hear
And just erase mistakes she's made then make them disappear
Where he can change the plot so he's a hero not a louse
And when the curtain falls there's not a dry eye in the house

A writer hopes to leave behind a work no one forgets
And when he writes the end to find he has the right regrets
A writer has the empty page where he can use his pen
To mend his heart and try to start again

Song of the day: "Rubber Duckie" from Sesame Street

I never thought one could perform "Rubber Duckie" but Jane Krakowski, Tony Award winner and pro singer, did it in her cabaret concert.

I thought it was hilarious. Maybe one of these days, I'll perform it as a joke.

Rubber Duckie,
You're the one,
You make bath time,
Lots of fun!
Rubber Duckie,
I'm awfully fond of you!
(bo-bo-bo-do)

Rubber Duckie,
Joy of joy,
When I squeeze you, you make noise,
Rubber Duckie,
You're my very best friend, it's true
(ohhh)

Every day,
When I
Make my way to the tubby,
I find a
Little fella who's
Cute and yella,
And chubby!
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby)

Rubber duckie,
You're so fine.
And I'm lucky that you're mine.

Rubber duckie,
I'm awfully fond of ...
Rubber duckie,
I'd love a whole pond of...
Rubber duckie,
I'm awfully fond of you.

Song of the day: "Is That All There Is?" by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller

I came across this somewhat disturbing existential song, at a performance of "Sleep No More." It was famously performed by Peggy Lee. The lyrics listed here are based off her performance.

(spoken)
I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up in his arms
And raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a fire?"

(sung)
Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
Then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze
And have a ball
If that's all there is.

(spoken)
And when I was 12 years old, my daddy took me to the circus, the greatest show on earth.
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears and a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads.
And as I sat there watching, I had the feeling that something was missing.
I don't know what, but when it was over I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a circus?"
"Is that all there is?"

(sung)
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
Then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze
And have a ball
If that's all there is.

(spoken)
And then I fell in love with the most wonderful boy in the world.
We'd take long walks down by the river or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes.
We were so very much in love. And then one day, he went away.
And I thought I'd die, but I didn't.
And when I didn't, I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to love?"

(sung)
Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
Then let's keep ...

(spoken)
I know what you must be saying to yourselves.
"If that's the way she feels about it, why doesn't she just end it all?"
Oh, no. Not me. I'm not ready for that final disappointment.
'Cause I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
When that final moment comes when I'm breathing my last breath,
I'll be saying to myself...

(sung)
Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
Then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze
And have a ball
If that's all there is.

Song of the day: "Beautiful City" by Stephen Schwartz

The revival of Godspell is playing on Broadway right now. I happened upon a video of Hunter Parrish singing "Beautiful City" and really enjoyed it. Very touching, with a gorgeous melody. I'll put this one on my list of songs to learn.

These are the revised lyrics for the revival.

Out of the ruins and rubble
Out of the smoke
Out of our night of struggle
Can we see a ray of hope?
One pale thin ray reaching for the day

We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But we can build a city of man

We may not reach the ending
But we can start
Slowly but truly mending
Brick by brick, heart by heart
Now, maybe now
We start learning how

We can build a beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But we can build a city of man

When your trust is all but shattered
When your faith is all but killed
You can give up, bitter and battered
Or you can slowly start to build

A beautiful city
Yes, we can; Yes, we can
We can build a beautiful city
Not a city of angels
But finally a city of man.

A city of man.

Song of the day: "Beauty and the Beast" by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman

Menken and Ashman did great work together and their most famous song is probably "Beauty and the Beast." The lyrics are so poignant and poetic. My favorite line is "Finding you can change/Learning you were wrong." The song takes on even more meaning when you consider that Ashman passed away before the Beauty and the Beast film was released. He knew he was dying the whole time he was working on the film. Alan Menken says that of all the songs in the film, this one was the hardest to write.

Apparently, Ashman was quite the driving leader and creative genius. He had a vision that animation and musicals would be a great marriage. And he sold the Disney corporation on it! He gathered a bunch of Disney people in a room and did a presentation where he discussed the history of the animation and the history of musicals separately and then showed how they were similar. (I don't have any further details on what the presentation was about.) I found a video where he coaches Jodi Benson, who sings Ariel in A Little Mermaid. He tell her to think about singing in a small enclosed space and makes an interesting remark about singing with "intensity" as opposed to with more "voice." I think what he meant is that you can convey emotion with the color in your voice instead of just using volume or belting.

There's also a nice video in which Alan Menken and collaborators reminisce about making Beauty and the Beast. I found out some interesting things. Ashman didn't tell anyone that he was sick, for a long time. But he would act out, doing things like smashing $500 Sony Walkmans. Ashman was also a guy who knew his theater really well. In the "Mob Song" from Beauty and the Beast, there are a couple obscure references. "Screw your courage to the sticking place" is a direct quote from Macbeth and "fifty Frenchmen can't be wrong" is a reference to Cole Porter.

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Song of the day: "Suddenly, Seymour" by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman

A charming, sweet song from the musical Little Shop of Horrors. Howard Ashman was a gifted lyricist. I really like the line "He don't give me orders/He don't condescend." Unfortunately, Ashman passed away at age 40. Imagine how many Disney musicals would be better with his lyrics.

SEYMOUR:
Lift up your head
Wash off your mascara
Here, take my Kleenex
Wipe that lipstick away
Show me your face, clean as the mornin'
I know things were bad, but now they're okay

Suddenly, Seymour is standin' beside you
You don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend
Suddenly, Seymour is here to provide you
Sweet understanding
Seymour's your friend

AUDREY:
Nobody ever treated me kindly
Daddy left early
Mama was poor
I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly
He'd snap his fingers
Me, I'd say "sure."

Suddenly, Seymour is standin' beside me
He don't give me orders
He don't condescend
Suddenly Seymour is here to provide me
Sweet understanding
Seymour's my friend

SEYMOUR:
Tell me this feelin'll last till forever
Tell me the bad times are clean washed away

AUDREY:
Please understand that it's still strange and fright'nin'
For losers like I've been it's so hard to say

AUDREY, SEYMOUR, TRIO:
Suddenly, Seymour,
He purified me.
Suddenly, Seymour,
He showed me I can
Learn how to be more
The girl that's inside me
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
With sweet understanding,
Seymour's my/your man!

Learning from other fields and cross-training

As I get older, I feel like scientists aren't really good at anything except science. Not that this is entirely surprising or that we should expect scientists to be amazing writers, speakers, etc. But if you're a scientist, you spend all your time immersed in the scientific community, thinking that the quality of writing or presentations that you see there are really the way things should be... well, you should go look at essays in the New Yorker or The Atlantic, or watch TED speakers or theatre performers or standup comics. The professionals of every field tend to have their strengths and weaknesses. If you want to shore up your weaknesses, go look for a field where that particular weakness is a strength, learn from those people, and use them as your inspiration. If you look outside your field, I think you'll have a huge leg up over others.

In sports, we call this cross-training. Athletes have no problem taking up yoga to help their hockey goaltending skills, for instance.

Opinions and appreciation in culture and art

I've come to realize that there are certain genres or styles of performing art or types of food that I just can't seem to get into. Despite 8 years of piano lessons, I've never really understood classical music. I enjoy flashy violin solos like "Tzigane," but I have no idea what's going on in Mahler's symphonies. I don't get pop or rock music. I still can't tell the difference between various wines. Conversely, there are people who won't get my love of musical theatre, opera, and intense TV drama. (I'm still working on being a better theatre audience member.)

What does it all mean? If I don't appreciate something, is it because it's something innate about my personality (like gloomy people who can't stand Annie-esque material)? Or is it some innate prejudice (like my dad telling me as a child that pop music sucks)? Or is it that I just never met anyone who explained the merits to me, that I didn't have enough exposure to the material as a child?

Whatever the reason, I've learned that taste is very subjective. We shouldn't be dismissive of people's opinions when it comes to art and culture because everyone's opinions are born of complicated circumstances that we're likely never to know. On review websites, instead of saying that other people are wrong, you should say that you don't understand where the dissenters are coming from, or that your taste is different. And if you have a friend who loves death metal or something that you're not into, why not take this as an opportunity to learn why your friend loves the things he/she does?

Notes on shows I've seen in the last six years

The Producers (March 2006)
St. James Theatre, New York (Broadway)

I'm pretty sure this was the very first Broadway show I saw. This was back when I knew zero about Broadway. My sister and I took the train down to meet up with some family friends. We had no idea what to see, but we had heard of the The Producers so we got tickets to see it from the TKTS booth. Our seats were somewhere in the middle of the theater. Neither my sister or I were very impressed with the show and I fell asleep during the climatic "Springtime for Hitler" number. Our friends, meanwhile, had scored lottery tickets to see Wicked in the front row. Apparently, they had a good time. C

Die Zauberflöte (November 2007)
Saturday matinee, Dress Circle D121, Metropolitan Opera, New York

I went for a doubleheader of Mozart, starting with Die Zauberflöte in the afternoon. I liked Act I, but found Act II dull and fell asleep except for the famous Queen of the Night aria. It was good to see a production at the Met, but this probably isn't my favorite Mozart opera. B

Le nozze di Figaro (November 2007)
Saturday evening, Dress Circle B22, Metropolitan Opera, New York

This is one of my favorite operas, so I was expecting a lot. I love the entire score. I don't think the production hasn't changed much over the years, so it seemed pretty similar to the DVD performance that I fell in love with. I think the famed baritone Bryn Terfel played Figaro. I vaguely recall that it was a good performance, but nothing amazing. B+

Il Barbiere di Siviglia (2007)
Metropolitan Opera, New York

I can't remember when I went to see this, so I'm guessing at the date. My friend, a German and an opera fan, got tickets to see it. The production was beautifully staged and I remember a lot of oranges. Peter Mattei played a very dashing Figaro. I had never seen any production of The Barber of Seville, so this was tremendously exciting. The music was, of course, amazing. I didn't find out until later that the Count who spends all his time trying to get the girl in The Barber of Seville ends up becoming an adulterous jerk in The Marriage of Figaro. A

Sunday in the Park with George (January 2008)
Tuesday evening, Orchestra B109, Studio 54, New York (Broadway)

This show is what convinced me to become a theater fan. I had just found out that the London production of SITPWG was transferring to New York and I was so excited that I bought a ticket to see it during the first week of previews. I'd never seen a show up close, and the best seat I could find was second row center during previews for the next day. I charged the ticket on my credit card without much hesitation and ran down to New York to see it the next day. It was the first time I'd done anything like that and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Normally, it's not the best idea to see a show during previews, but the show had transferred from the West End with the same leads, so it was more like a tech rehearsal. I do remember the mics having nasty feedback at one point during the show, but mostly it went on without a hitch. I vaguely recall that someone in the audience told me a story about how he had been at the original Broadway production of Sweeney Todd in 1979 and that the set almost collapsed on the cast. It's amazing how I meet these people who've lived in New York for their entire lives.

Daniel Evans (George) and Jenna Russell (Dot) were amazing, especially up close. (After that, I always tried to get a seat in the first five rows. Yes, you pay twice as much, but the experience improves exponentially.) Evans was particularly intense. I recall Russell's interpretation of Dot was very different than what I had seen of Bernadette Peters on the DVD recording. Russell played Dot more sweet and bumbling compared to Peters' feisty portrayal. People say that SITPWG is a sobfest and indeed, I found myself crying (probably during "Children and Art"). I'd never been so moved during a theater production. This was also the first time I had ever stagedoored. Daniel Evans didn't really want to sign; he seemed irritated and wanted to run away with his shopping bag. I tried to tell him how much I admired his "intense" acting and he didn't seem particularly impressed by my compliment. But Jenna Russell saw us kids standing in the rain and felt really touched that we waited for her. She was just as sweet as her character.

A couple months later, I took a friend to see it again from the first or second row of the mezzanine. It didn't seem quite as moving the second time, especially from farther back. I had hoped that my friend, an artist, would like the dramatization of a life in art, but she didn't seem to like it that much, though she admitted that the ideas were very "creative." Still, when I think about an ideal night at the theatre, I think of Sondheim and SITPWG. A+

Sweeney Todd (March 2008)
Thursday evening, Orchestra M30, Ahmanson Theatre, Los Angeles (national tour)

This was actually the national tour of Sweeney Todd, but the same production as seen on Broadway. Back then, I had just become a huge Sondheim fan, particularly after I saw the Sweeney Todd stage and concert DVDs. It was too late to see the show on Broadway but the tour was still going around. I convinced my sister to see it with me in LA. Our seats were in the mid-orchestra. We both liked it, though I preferred the original staging from 1979. I thought the John Doyle actor-musician concept was interesting, but too gimicky and distracting. At the national tour, Mrs. Lovett was played by Judy Kaye and Sweeney was played by David Hess. My sister claimed that she saw Steven Spielburg (or maybe it was George Lucas?) in the audience. B+

Gypsy (May 2008)
Tuesday evening, Orchestra D105, St. James Theatre, New York (Broadway)

Following my experience with SITPWG, I knew what it took to get a great ticket to a hot show. I wanted to give the cast sometime to settle into their performances but I didn't want to see them too late when they were worn out. Patti Lupone had very good reviews from City Center and there was a lot of buzz about the transfer of the show to Broadway. The first day Gypsy tickets were available online, I jumped on them and got fourth row seats orchestra center. I chose a Tuesday evening performance on the theory that the audience would be made up of sophisticated New Yorkers (as opposed to tourists). Also, Much later, I found out that May is high season for Broadway shows. It's the best time to see them because it's after the Tony Award nominations are announced and the cast is scrambling to turn in.

I don't remember a lot about the show intellectually, despite the fact that I had watched a couple of the Gypsy films to familiarize myself with the material. The show was just an emotional blur of incredible excitement. When Patti Lupone (Rose) made her entrance, everyone started applauding. I had no idea this kind of thing happened and I learned another new theater tradition that day: entrance applause for a diva. I remember Laura Benanti (Louise) and Leigh Ann Larkin's (June) amazing voices and harmonies. I remember being in awe of Patti Lupone tearing up the letter at the end of ACT I's showstopper "Everything's Coming Up Roses." At intermission, I walked up to the stage and stared at the little scraps of paper, tempted to grab them as a souvenir. After the show, I met Boyd Gaines (Herbie). He was very gracious and down-to-earth. I told him that I had a friend who did a show with him and he asked me what show but I had forgotten. When Patti Lupone came out of the stage door, it was pretty hectic and she only had time to scribble her initials "PL" on my Playbill. I was very thankful nonetheless.

Three days after the show, I emailed Lupone at her fan page. I wrote that she and her supporting cast were brilliant, that I appreciated her signing my Playbill, and that I hoped she might have a performance recorded on Great Performances. She wrote back the next day and told me how much she appreciated my compliments. She said she would love to have the show recorded but it wasn't up to her. And sadly, the show was never recorded. A+

The Visit (May 2008)
Sunday evening, Right E12, Signature Theatre, Arlington, Virginia

Technically, this was not a Broadway show, but it was a tryout which had the potential to transfer to Broadway. Plus, it was written by Kander and Ebb and featured Tony Award winning actors George Hearn and Chita Rivera. I saw it at the Signature Theatre in the DC area when I was visiting my cousin's family. It was my first time seeing something at a first-rate regional theater in a small venue (about 300 seats) -- which was very cool. Unfortunately, I just didn't really like the musical. It was adapted from a play and I felt like the music didn't add much. It should have stayed a play. I was surprised by how informal things are at a regional show. My cousin and I met a woman who was the wife of one of the actors. The actors just came out into the lobby after the show (none of the crazy stagedooring I was used to at a Broadway production). I got George Hearn's signature and made the mistake of complimenting him on his work in Sweeney Todd. His response was "this show is good, too." Oops. I guess I won't be making that social slipup again. B

Rent (August 2008)
Sunday matinee, Center mezzanine A108, Nederlander Theatre, New York (Broadway)

I caught a Sunday matinee performance of Rent, the month before it closed on Broadway. Will Chase (as Roger) and Eden Espinosa (as Maureen) were in it, but obviously they didn't make much of an impression because I didn't even know until I looked at my records today. All I remember is that the music was really loud and I felt like I could have spent my time and money better. It probably didn't help that Rent seems so dated now. C

In the Heights (November 2008)
Sunday matinee, Front mezzanine B108, Richard Rodgers Theatre, New York (Broadway)

I got caught up in the Tony hype for In the Heights especially after I saw the clip of the recording studio performance of "96,000." I guess there was so much buzz that it was hard to find good seats. Plus, I made plans to see it with my friend, who wasn't going home to New York until the fall. So I got tickets for November, which in retrospect, was a bad idea. The cast seemed tired by then and it didn't help that we weren't sitting that close. Maybe they were tired because it was a Sunday matinee. Still, I was glad that we saw most of the original cast including Lin-Manuel Miranda (writer and star of the musical), Mandy Gonzalez (an awesome belter), Christopher Jackson, Robin de Jesús (Tony nominee), and Priscilla Lopez (original cast member of A Chorus Line). Karen Olivo had moved on to West Side Story. I thought my friend who like the modern score and the rap songs, but she didn't seem impressed. Now I know that musical theater's version of contemporary music (pop, rock, rap, etc) is not the same. Another failed attempt to show a friend a good time at a Broadway musical. B

August: Osage County (February 2009)
Wednesday matinee, Orchestra D106, Music Box Theatre, New York (Broadway)

This was my first Broadway play and not a good introduction. As far as I could tell, it was a play about crazy people who were completely unrelatable. There were too many characters. It's a bad sign if I sit in the front and still dislike the work. And this won the Pulitzer? I was also kind of disappointed to get the understudy for the lead role of Violet. Actually, she was very good, but I learned not to get matinee tickets because there'a a significant probability of getting the understudy. C

Mendelssohn and Mahler, LA Philharmonic (March 2009)
Sunday evening, Balcony C138, Walt Disney Concert Hall, Los Angeles

I went to see this concert with my sister. I didn't know anything about Mendelssohn or Mahler symphonies but they had a pre-concert talk to explain it to us. I had no idea that that are Mahler fanatics. The performance was pretty awesome and I was exposed to music I wouldn't normally listen to. Another plus was getting to see the Walt Disney Concert Hall, which has fantastic acoustics and amazing architecture. We took the architecture tour before the concert.

Unless I go see some hip musical, I tend to see older people at the theater. But that did not prepare me for a crowd who was all 60+ at the symphony. I was really shocked. If this is what it's like in LA with a top-10 symphony, I can't imagine that orchestras are going to survive much longer. It's truly frightening. A

Wagner's Ring Cycle (May 2009)
Monday/Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday evening, Family Circle standing room, Metropolitan Opera, New York

This was the opera experience of my life. After attending the Ring Cycle at the Met, it's okay if I never see another opera again. The friends I made at the rush line earlier for Don Giovanni told me how to get rush tickets for the Ring Cycle. I took the earliest train, which left at 4:11 am, getting into Manhattan at 5:47 am. From there, I took the subway to Lincoln Center and went to a place underground where a woman took my name to save my place. Then I went to a diner to eat breakfast and came back to get in line around 8 am. The box office opened at 10 am and I think I got my tickets before 11 am. What a steal, standing room tickets to see four Wagner operas for $100. It was the first time I had done standing room at the Met and I really liked it. Yes, I was at the top of the house as far back as you can go, but the sound was great, I could see everything and use my binoculars for closeups. Plus, what I hated about orchestra seat rush was that you had to wait for hours. For standing room rush, you just show up when the box office opens. There are also standing room tickets for the back of the orchestra section, but I wouldn't get those because the top half of the set is cut off from view. It wouldn't be fun to miss the rainbow bridge!

The Ring Cycle is considered the benchmark for a great opera company and I can see why. The insane, strenuous singing, the elaborate sets, enormous orchestra. I started to wonder if Siegfried ever left the stage and I noticed four harps in the pit. The most surprising experience I've ever had at the theater was during the finale of Götterdämmerung, when there are two set changes within five minutes. It was like the set just slammed onto the stage. I think my favorite was Die Valkürie, 'cause women warriors are cool. But Siegfried was also awesome, particularly the ringing hammer that is incorporated into the score. This Ring Cycle was particularly special because it was the last performance of the old Met production from the 1980s. Europeans really like it because it uses traditional staging and costumes. The new production (full of high-tech special effects) has gotten mixed reviews.

Some memories: 1) A European woman who hit me for talking on the cellphone during intermission. 2) A young Asian woman who I met in standing room. She asked me what I thought to the performance. I said I really liked Die Valkürie because I finally saw a strong woman character in the opera. She told me that unfortunately, this changes in the later operas, Siegfried and Götterdämmerung. I also told her that I was disappointed that I didn't like Don Giovanni as a character. 3) A woman gave me her ticket to sit in the family circle. I tried to refuse it at first because I was quite happy in standing room, but she insisted and I accepted. I promptly fell asleep in that seat. Another reason to do standing room. A+

Don Giovanni (2009)
Family Circle, Metropolitan Opera, New York

This was the first Met opera I rushed. I heard about the Varis rush tickets which allow you get really nice orchestra seats. To be safe, I got to Lincoln Center around noon. The tickets aren't sold until around 5 pm, so that's a lot of waiting. Everyone in line seemed to be a die-hard opera fan and they gossiped about things like men lusting over Renée Fleming. One woman was reading a copy of the Opera News. The people were impressed that a young person like me came so early to rush and they were really nice and gave me tips about rushing. I can't remember what I did to pass the time, but I was prepared with a folding chair.

Unfortunately, the waiting made me so tired that despite getting the coveted rush ticket (I also got an extra for my aunt), I fell asleep during the performance. Don Giovanni is supposed to one of the best operas ever written. But I have no way to judge. The parts I did see I didn't really enjoy, maybe because Don Giovanni himself is a pretty nasty character.

Despite my fatigue, I met some really cool people including an older man who lived out near Stamford. He claimed that he came to the opera to escape his mother -- pretty amusing. no grade (since I fell asleep)

Wicked (2009)
Gershwin Theatre, New York (Broadway)

I can't even find my Playbill for this show. That bad, huh. Wicked seemed like the obligatory hit show I need to see at least once. I could never find good seats, but then the recession hit and I was able to score fourth row. Yes, it had big impressive sets, but other than that, I didn't find it particularly compelling. I never connect with or enjoy teen "high school" stories. The songs weren't that great, and the characters weren't well-developed, more like placeholders for teenage angst. C-

A Gala Evening with Kristin Chenoweth (May 2009)
Monday evening, Mezzanine B215, New York City Center

Technically, this was not a Broadway show. It was a concert at the New York City Center. I'm a great admirer of Kristin Chenoweth and wanted to see her. It was a good show and she did some of the songs I saw in the video of her concert with the Boston Pops. Unfortunately, the acoustics at New York City Center suck. Kristin loves her fans, so she came out to sign afterwards. I snickered a bit when a young girl complained that she sang too much "old" stuff and nothing contemporary like from Wicked. I was the last one to get my program signed. I was grateful that Kristin signed her full name. B

West Side Story (May 2009)
Tuesday matinee, Orchestra B116, New York (Broadway)

Another Tuesday matinee. I sense a pattern here: easier to get tickets for Tuesday night than any other night of the week. I didn't buy these tickets myself. My friend who lives in Manhattan dropped by the box office and they were able to find these awesome seats near the front. So my friend (finally a theatre-goer) and I went to see it. It was impressive to see real dance in a musical. It made us realize how much we missed it. I guess if musical theatre is supposed to be a dying art, dance must be in even worse straits. The leads, Josefina Scaglione (Maria) and Matt Cavenaugh (Tony), were good but I don't recall them being remarkable. Karen Olivo (Anita) had great energy and looked fantastic in her purple dress. No surprise that she later won a Tony Award for best supporting actress in a musical. When Olivo came out for the curtain call, we noticed that she had put on the purple dress again. My friend and I remarked, "She really likes that dress, doesn't she?" The production was also notable for using Spanish lyrics in some songs. All in all, a satisfying night of theater. A

Twelfth Night (July 2009)
Saturday evening, Section J Row U Seat 601, Delacorte Theater, Central Park, New York

Ah, this was my first experience of Shakespeare in the Park, a summertime New Yorker tradition. I think Twelfth Night is considered Shakespeare's most popular comedy. Some notable members of the cast: Anne Hathaway (as Viola), Raul Esparza (as Orsino), and Audra McDonald (as Olivia). Anne Hathaway, the A-list movie star, was probably the biggest attraction and Ben Brantley's rave reviews probably also gave the production a huge boost.

I had been thinking about going to see it, but like all Public Theater Shakespeare in the Park productions, you need to line up for tickets the day of the performance. Finally, the last week rolled around, my friend's mom was in town. So I decided to go for it and line up for tickets. At the beginning of the run, you needed to line up at 6 am. Now, at the end, people were reportedly camping overnight on the street. I prepared by bringing a folding chair and my Nintendo DS Lite. That night, I checked Craiglist and saw that someone mentioned their campers were in line at 11 pm to get tickets. I thought "crap!" and immediately got on the subway. Unfortunately, I left after midnight so it was tricky getting to Central Park (subway runs much less frequently after 12 am). I finally got in line around 1 am, on the street outside Central Park. People were clearly more prepared than I. They brought tents, sleeping bags, games, musical instruments, etc. Then there were people like this Indian guy who showed up with nothing except a book and slept on the concrete sidewalk. Sometime around 6 am, they moved the entire line inside the park. Tickets were handed out around noon. Despite being in line for almost 12 hours, I didn't even get a real ticket, but a standby voucher. I came back about a half hour before the performance to see if I got the standby tickets and fortunately I got them! One for me and one for my friend's mom.

As for the performance itself, it was fantastic and kudos to the sound engineers at Delacorte Theater for the best sound I've ever experienced at the theater. My friend's mom had a blast, I had an adventure, and we both had memories to cherish. A+

Promises, Promises (May 2010)
Tuesday evening, Orchestra E109, Broadway Theatre, New York (Broadway)

I went to this show, solely to see Kristin Chenoweth. It was a huge disappointment. Chenoweth (who played Fran) was so skinny that I was concerned for her health. The music was pretty dull, not my kind of thing at least. Sean Hayes (a TV star who played Chuck Baxter) was good, but I'm not really a comedy person, so his slapstick was lost on me. Promises, Promises seemed so dated. Since when is suicide funny? My unhappiness with this show drove me away from the theater for a while. C+

Come Fly Away (June 2010)
Friday evening, Orchestra M4, Marquis Theatre, New York (Broadway)

My sister was visiting for a week, so I had a pretty restricted window to get tickets. Hence the unusual Friday night time. Since my sister loves dance, we went to a bunch of dance shows. The first was Twyla Tharp's Come Fly Away. I enjoyed the Sinatra music and the dance was pretty good. I'm not super into dance, so it didn't blow me away. Still, a good night. B+

By Popular Demand, Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater (June 2010)
Saturday matinee, Orchestra D16, Howard Gilman Opera House, Brooklyn

I tried to squeeze in one more dance show for my sister and I found out about a distinguished New York dance troupe by the name of Alvin Ailey. This was my first time seeing a show in Brooklyn. There was a lot of variety in the dances, and I found it more interesting than Twyla Tharp's choreography in Come Fly Away. I had a good time, despite knowing nothing about dance. At one point, I fell asleep despite the loud music, but that was due to fatigue and not boredom. A-

Billy Elliot (June 2010)
Sunday evening, Orchestra N114, Imperial Theatre, New York (Broadway)

My sister loves Billy Elliot, so I got tickets for us to see it. There really weren't any great seats. I even went to the box office to see if there was something that hadn't popped up on Ticketmaster, but to no avail. The music was largely forgettable, the comedy was lame, a couple scenes were offputting, and the dance was cool, but there wasn't enough of it. I think my sister had a good time though. C+

Carmen (November 2010)
Wednesday evening, Family Circle B114, Metropolitan Opera, New York

I specifically bought this ticket to see the acclaimed performance of Elina Garanca. She was as great as advertised. After seeing this production, I have to put Carmen in my pantheon of favorite stand-alone operas along with The Marriage of Figaro and Tannhäuser. Yay, a strong woman role and more importantly, one of two great roles for mezzo-sopranos (I feel really sorry for them). Carmen is one of the few roles where strong acting really sparkles. A

Follies (October 2011)
Tuesday evening, Orchestra B107, Marquis Theatre, New York (Broadway)

At this point, I was sort of "Sondheimed out," but Follies is almost never put on, much less on Broadway. I skipped seeing A Little Night Music, but I dragged myself to see Follies. The day before I went to the library to get the Follies concert documentary and libretto and listened to the songs on Rhapsody in a furious cram session. I was familiar with a few songs from the Sondheim 80th birthday concert like "Losing My Mind" and "Could I Leave You?"

The cast was a distinguished group including Broadway legend Bernadette Peters (Sally), Jan Maxwell (Phyllis), Danny Burstein (Buddy), and Ron Raines (Ben). Still, I wasn't sure what to expect. The critics were relatively positive about the cast in DC, so that was a good sign. Follies was fun, but I understand now why people say it has a weak book. It felt like we were lurching from cabaret solo to cabaret solo. Janye Houdyshell gave a rousing, enthusiastic rendition of "Broadway Baby." Terri White led the ensemble in an energetic delivery of "Who's That Woman?" I wasn't too keen on Elaine Paige's diva-ish "I'm Still Here." Peters and Raines were good as the Stone couple, but I wasn't crazy about them. Peters sang "Losing My Mind" in tears, which wasn't to my taste, though a valid acting decision. My favorite was Danny Burstein. I could see the sweat on his face as he did the frantic "Buddy's Blues" number. Jan Maxwell was very good, but I already saw Donna Murphy in video clips of the same role, so that spoiled it for me. One thing I liked was the staging, particularly the spectacular colorful sets in Act II. That's really something you can only see on Broadway since Follies is so expensive to put on.

I took my time getting to the stage door, but I was able to catch Terri White and compliment her on the fun ensemble number she led. I also got Bernadette Peter's autograph, but I didn't get to say anything to her since she was busy talking to a friend. The other cast members fled out a different entrance or left early, so that was a bummer not to catch Danny Burstein or some of the other performers. Despite a few disappointments, it was a rare treat to see Follies and Bernadette Peters, so I have to give the night high marks. A

Final tally: 12 Broadway shows, 1 Shakespeare in the Park show at Public Theater, 2 non-Broadway New York shows, 1 Broadway show on national tour, 1 regional show, 9 operas, and 1 symphony concert. A total of 27 shows in 6 years. Not included a couple Shakespeare plays I saw in the 3 years prior.

Favorite actor-singers

Soprano

• Kristin Chenoweth - great comic actor, operatically trained voice which makes everything sound easy, transitions effortlessly between pop/jazz/opera/legit musical theatre
• Victoria Clark - has such a sweetness and optimism in her mannerisms and singing
• Audra McDonald - has a voice to die for and four Tonys to prove her acting prowess, love her muscular arms
• Kelli O'Hara - classically beautiful soprano, exudes class and professionalism
• Marin Mazzie - beautiful, classically-trained voice with impeccable technique, fantastic dramatic actor (especially Sondheim), does my favorite rendition of "Losing My Mind"
• Megan Hilty - just getting familiar with her, but she's great on Smash

Soprano/mezzo-soprano

• Alice Ripley - known for her unique voice and intense belt (check out her belt face), probably the most versatile performer on this list, equally comfortable singing legit/pop/rock and doing comedy or drama, gives my all-time favorite performance in next to normal
• Jenna Russell - great actor, saw her in Sunday in the Park with George

Tenor

• Raúl Esparza - unique, rich voice, great acting in Company
• Brian d'Arcy James - fantastic, rich voice with impeccable technique (watch his mouth when he sings "I've Been"), touching performance in next to normal

Baritone

• George Hearn - Mr. Sweeney Todd!, near-operatic, classically trained booming voice

Actor-singer pretty much means musical theatre, though Carmen is a fine operatic acting role. I notice a lot of sopranos on my list. Maybe I like that voice type, because all the contemporary music is squashed into the alto-tenor range. Musical theatre is getting that way, too. It seems like all the guys sing tenor and all the women sing mezzo-soprano. Musical theatre composers: please write more roles for baritones and sopranos (I mean legit soprano roles, not sopranos singing low)! Altos and basses, too! We want variety in our singing.

Song of the day: "I'm Alive" by Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey

This is Gabe's big solo in the musical next to normal. Finally, a rock song that fits my voice! Technically, it's a rock-influenced musical theatre song, which I'm told is not authentic rock. (I'm no expert on rock music.) But hey it's fun, big, brash, and bright. Someone noted that it's also a great stalker song.

This is the solo version of the song. The stage version is interspersed with dialogue.

I am what you want me to be
And I'm your worst fear-- you'll find it in me.
Come closer...
Come closer...

I am more than memory--
I am what might be, I am mystery.
You know me--
So show me.

When I appear it's
Not so clear if
I'm a simple spirit or I'm flesh and blood...

But I'm alive
I'm alive
I am so alive,
And I feed on the fear that's behind your eyes.

And I need you
To need me
It's no surprise--
I'm alive...
So alive...
I'm alive.

I am flame and I am fire,
I am destruction, decay, and desire--
I'll hurt you...
I'll heal you...

I'm your wish, your dream come true,
And I am your darkest nightmare, too--
I've shown you...

I own you.

And though you made me,
You can't change me--
I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well.

And I'm alive
I'm alive
I am so alive
And I'll tell you the truth if you let me try.

You're alive
I'm alive
And I'll show you why
I'm alive...
So alive...

I'm alive-- I'm right behind you.
You say forget, but I remind you.
You can try to hide, but you know that I will find you.
'Cause if you won't grieve me
You won't leave me behind...

Oh, oh, wah
Whoa
Whoa

No, no, no--
I'm alive
I'm alive
I am so alive,
If you climb on my back, then we both can fly

If you try
To deny me
I'll never die.
I'm alive...
So alive...
I'm alive...
Yeah, yeah...
I'm alive...
I'm alive...
I'm alive...
I'm alive!

Song of the day: "A Light in the Dark" by Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey

A sweet, moving ballad in the musical next to normal. I love Dan's ballads. In this song, Dan tries to convince Diana to side with him on a difficult decision.

DAN:
One light shines in the drive --
One single sign that our house is alive.
Our house, our own --
So why do I live there alone.

Tell me why I wait through the night,
And why do I leave on the light?
You know. I know.
Our house was a home long ago.

Take this chance,
'Cause it may be our last
To be free,
To let go of the past
And to try,
To be husband and wife
To let love never die --
Or to just live our life.
Take my hand,
And let me take your heart,
Keep it far
From what keeps us apart --
Let us start
With a light in the dark.

Night falls I stare at the walls.

(overlapping)

DIANA:
I stare at these walls...

DAN:
I wake and wander the halls.

DIANA:
I get lost in these halls...

DAN:
And I ache to the bone...

DIANA:
It's like nothing I've known<...br/>
BOTH:
I can't get through this alone.

DAN:
Take this chance
And we'll make a new start
Somewhere far
From what keeps us apart,
And I swear that somewhere in the night
There's a light...
A light in the dark.

Song of the day: "I've Been" by Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey

A haunting song from the musical next to normal. Dan expresses his frustration, despair, and loneliness in the midst of his wife's crisis.

DAN:
Standing in this room,
Well I wonder what comes now.
I know I have to help her --
But hell if I know how.

And all the times that I've been told
The way her illness goes --
The truth of it is no one really knows.

And every day this act we act gets more and more absurd...
And all my fears just sit inside me, screaming to be heard...
I know they won't, though-- not a single word.

I was here,
At her side,
When she called,
When she cried...
How could she leave me on my own?

Will it work?
This cure?
There's no way
To be sure...
But I'm weary to the bone.
And whenever she goes flying
I keep my feet right on the ground --
Oh, now I need a lift and there's no one around.

Hey

GABE:
Hey

DAN AND GABE:
Ohhh

(Together)
DAN:
Ahhh oooh
No

GABE:
Ahh oooh
No

DAN:
And I've never had to face the world without her at my side...
Now I'm strolling right beside her as the black hole opens wide...
Mine is just a slower suicide.

I've been here
For the show,
Every high,
Every low...
But it's the worst we've ever known.

She's been hurt,
And how,
But I can't
Give up now.
'Cause I've never been alone...
I could never be alone.

Thought of the day: Should challenging dramatic musical theatre be attempted?

I've always wondered why some people don't like musicals. My speculation is that they don't believe music can be used to tell stories. Maybe they don't really like singing at all. Maybe they only listen to music in the background or in short bursts on the radio. If you're used to two minute pop songs, a two hour musical is a long thing to sit through.

There have been many articles written about the decline of Broadway. Between 1957 and 1967, 8 of the best-selling albums in the US were cast albums for musicals like My Fair Lady and West Side Story. Those days are over and that style of music is just not mainstream anymore. Musical theatre is a niche art, and Broadway is a tourist attraction. The reality is that Broadway will support itself with big commercial hits and do some challenging "indie" stuff on the side (like next to normal.)

Writers will need to decide whether their musical to be popular (Hollywood blockbuster) or to be art (independent film) . If you decide to do art, forget about those people who never liked musical theatre in the first place.

In this difficult climate, should people keep trying to write the next The Light in the Piazza or next to normal?

It's extremely difficult to write dramatic musical theatre. It's much easier to do a comedy or write an ironic musical. If you do a sincere drama, you're fighting against the fact that music is a broad, heavy brush to paint with. For whatever reason, society is not very music literate. Mainstream people don't sit around debating Mahler. Maybe you can tell interesting stories with Wagnerian motifs and complicated harmonies. The number of people who would get that (people who study classical music) are even smaller than the number of theatre fans. So you're stuck with traditional Broadway style and rough genres of music like jazz, gospel, rock, pop, folk, etc. These styles of music are associated with a particular mood (think of Wong Kar-wai films) as opposed to specific statements. We don't have a musical equivalent of dialogue (or maybe there is, but it's beyond my poor, poor musical knowledge?).

Traditionally, music is used in theatre only when the characters experience extreme emotions such that they can no longer speak and have to burst into song. Traditionally, the audience expects the actors to sing on the beat and in tune. These things are limiting, compared to dialogue which can be said with any kind of pitch, emphasis, or timing as long as the words get across. There's no reason why people can't write more musicals where music is played continuously. I liked the film-like underscoring in next to normal. Operas and many British musicals (e.g. Les Miserables) are sung-through. Singing off-beat and out-of-tune would be much harder. People mostly expect beautiful singing in musical theatre and that's a tough expectation to break.

The key to writing dramatic musical theatre is to find or write a story where you can figure out a way to add music in a way that enhances the work rather than being an adornment. It's hard enough to write a good drama in a 300 page novel where you have space and thousands of words. How many stories feel like they're crying out for a musical treatment? My guess is not many. I think the odds are really stacked against the writers. Musical theatre tends to be most successful when the music is trying to be funny, cute, or beautiful.

Still, there's no reason why people shouldn't try. If enough people like it and are affected by it, the work was worthwhile. Everyone should be able to find a piece of art that speaks to them, that helps them understand the world or themselves better, that is cathartic and helps them express their feelings. If your cup of tea is musical theater (like me), why not? If someone wants to paint the equivalent of Hamlet, why not?

I never thought of musical theatre as serious art, but then I studied Sondheim and encountered next to normal, which inspired my appreciation and understanding of theatre, acting, and music. I'm truly grateful to the people who push the boundaries of musical theatre and I'm hoping for more. Finding inspirational art is a rare and special experience, not unlike falling in love. Everyone should "fall in love" with art at least once.

(I am not an expert on musical theatre or music. I'm just writing my random thought for the day.)

Song of the day: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

A charming, old-fashioned song performed by Will Chase and Megan Hilty in the TV series Smash.

MARILYN:
Call the justice of the peace,
But don't tell him our names.
Don't put out a press release,
Or mention baseball games.

DIMAGGIO:
Book the nearest bridal suite,
One room will suit us fine.
For the desk clerk that we meet,
The only autograph we'll sign is...

BOTH:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
Simply the folks next door.

DIMAGGIO:
People without a single clue what
An agent or grip is for.

MARILYN:
Yes

BOTH:
Nothing can beat the view,
When as far as the eye can see,
There's...

DIMAGGIO:
No one but Mrs. ...

MARILYN:
No one but Mr. ...

BOTH:
Smith and me.

DIMAGGIO:
For a home the man provides,
That cottage built for two.
We'll check the small town classifieds,
Variety won't do.

MARILYN:
Then we'll move to Main Street, U.S.A.,
And sign the deed of trust.
The mailbox at our hideaway,
Will tell the whole wide world that we're just

BOTH:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
Merely the folks next door.

DIMAGGIO:
People who use their kitchen each night

MARILYN:
Who've never been in Toots Shor

BOTH:
Nothing can beat the view,
For as far as the eye can see,
There's ....

DIMAGGIO:
No one but Mrs. ...

MARILYN:
No one but Mr. ...

BOTH:
Smith and me

BOTH:
No early calls,
No big premieres,
No lush romantic theme.
We'll spend the nights,
Making our own
Little League baseball team.

(brief interlude)

BOTH:
We're no one you've ever seen

MARILYN:
Movie stars don't live anywhere here,
Except on the local drive-in screen.

BOTH:
Yes, I'd gladly disappear,
If it might guarantee a view of

DIMAGGIO:
No one but Mr. ...

MARILYN:
No one but Mrs. ...

BOTH:
Smith and you.

Song of the day: "Brotherhood of Man" by Frank Loesser

I was introduced to this song by the recent NBC Super Bowl commercial. It's super-charming, fun, and smart, plus it stars the actors and cast of many NBC shows, including 30 Rock, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Community, Smash, Up All Night, Saturday Night Live, and others. Nice choreography for people who are not dancers. The commercial is almost four minutes long!

The song is "Brotherhood of Man" from the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, which coincidentally starred Daniel Radcliffe and is playing on Broadway right now. Below are the lyrics from the original show (not the altered lyrics in the NBC ad):

FINCH:
Now you may joint the Oak's, my friend,
And may joint the Shriner's.
And other men may carry cards,
As members of the Diner's.

Still others wear a Golden Key,
Or small Greek letter pin.
But I have learn that's one great club,
That all of us are in.

There is a brotherhood of man,
A benevolent brotherhood of man,
A noble tie that binds
All human hearts and minds
Into one brotherhood of man.

Your life long membership is free,
Keep a-giving each brother all you can.
Oh, aren't you proud to be in that fraternity,
The great big brotherhood of man?

So, Wally, before consider firing everybody, remember this:

One man may seem incompetent.
Another not make sense.
Well, others look like quite waste
Of company expense.
They need a brother's leadership.
So, please, don't do them in
Remember mediocrity
Is not a murder sin.

FINCH:
There

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Where?

FINCH:
In

MALE ENSEMBLE:
In

FINCH:
the

MALE ENSEMBLE:
the

COMPANY:
Brotherhood of man.
Dedicated to giving all we can

FINCH:
Oh, aren't you proud to be
In that fraternity.

COMPANY:
The great big brotherhood of man.

WOMPER:
No kidding!
Is there really a brotherhood

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Yes, you're a brother.

WOMPER:
of man.

MALE ENSEMBLE:
You are a brother.

WOMPER:
On the level of brotherhood of man.

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
A noble tie that binds
All human hearts and minds

WOMPER:
Into one brotherhood of man.

COMPANY:
Oh, yes! Your life long membership is free,
Keep a-giving each brother all you can.

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Oh, aren't you proud to be,
In that fraternity,
The great big brotherhood
Of man?

MISS JONES:
You, you got me
Me, I got Yooooooooo - yooou

MISS JONES:
Oh, that noble feeling
Feels like bells are pealing
Dong with double jingling
Oh, brother!
You, you got me
Me, I got Yooooooooo - yooou

COMPANY:
Oh, that noble feeling
Feels like bells are pealing
Dong with double jingling
Oh, brother!
You, you got me
Me, I got Yoooooou

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Oh, that noble feeling
Feels like bells are pealing
Dong with double jingling
Oh, brother!

MISS JONES:
Oooooooooooooooooo
Oooooooooooooooooo

COMPANY:
You, you got me
Me, I got Yoooooou

Your life long membership is free,
Keep a-giving each brother all you can.
Oh, aren't you proud to be in that fraternity,
The great big brotherhood of man?

Song of the day: "You don't know/I am the one" by Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey

I recently saw the Tony Award performance (2009) from next to normal. Wow! That's probably the best Tony performance I've seen, aside from Patti LuPone's bring-down-the-house rendition of "Everything's coming up roses" from Gypsy. I'm not sure what I was doing in 2009, but I did go see West Side Story. As far as I remember, it was a slow year for musicals. I vaguely heard about next to normal, but at the time, I wasn't interested in seeing a musical about mental illness.

next to normal isn't so much about mental illness, but about a dysfunctional family whose primary dysfunction happens to be the mother, Diana, who has bipolar disorder with delusions (though you find out that the father, Dan, has his own, more subtle problems). I'm not a huge fan of rock music, but I think it works pretty well in the big number "You don't know/I am the one" that the cast performed during the Tony Awards. The number isn't a typical beautiful ballad, splashy song, or Sondheimesque cabaret piece. It's really a huge fight between a husband and wife, but set to music. The rock music highlights the extreme emotions bouncing around during the scene.

All the actors are amazing. Diana (played by Alice Ripley) alternates between aggressively fighting off the "cage" erected by her illness and her husband, and looking scared to death and out of her mind. I sympathized with her frustration with well-meaning caretakers and her desire to lash out (most graphically depicted by her violently throwing cutlery). I found it riveting the way Ripley wears emotions on her face. She's menacing while waving knives at her husband, then seems afraid of him when he fights back (her body keeps shaking). She takes a step towards her husband and then bends backwards when he comes at her again. The way she looks terrified and about to crack when she has both her husband and her son singing to her in her ear, competing for her attention.

Dan (played by J. Robert Spencer) seems like the well-meaning, but exasperated and domineering caretaker. When he sings "I am the one who knows you/I am the one who cares/I am the one who's always been there," I couldn't help imagining the emotional blackmail that Diana and Dan are capable of inflicting on each other. I really liked how Spencer moved in time to the music. All the actors do this to some degree (almost like choreography), but Spencer does it really well when he walks behind his wife's back, after singing "And if you think that I just don't give a damn/ Then you just don't know who I am."

I enjoyed the so-called psycho-sexual tension going on between Diana and her son Gabe (played by Aaron Tviet). Actually, it looks like sexual tension, but (SPOILER) it's not because Gabe died when he was 18 months old. So he's really a metaphor for Diana's inner mind. I interpret the tension as Diana wanting to give in to her illness and stop all medical treatment (which she finds stifling and numbing). I think when you are struggling with a mental illness for so long (16 years in Diana's case), at some point you want to give up and embrace the illness. The illness becomes what's "normal" to you. It makes sense to me that the idea of embracing the illness is a kind of seduction. Society looks down on the notion of "giving up" on fighting illness (particularly mental illness, which some think of as a character flaw), so I find the metaphor of a forbidden, incestuous relationship rather apt.

I haven't seen the musical on stage, but I get the feeling that it's a serious, intense, intimate, and contemporary play that happens to be set to music. This makes next to normal novel and ground-breaking, which is probably why it won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. There aren't many original musicals written in contemporary music that tackle hard issues like how mental illness damages a family. I'm extremely impressed with this work.

DIANA (spoken)
You know. Really? What, exactly, do you know?

DAN (spoken)
I know you're hurting. I am, too.

DIANA
Do you wake up in the morning
And need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries
And feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside
Not knowing when you'll dive...
Do you know
Do you know, what it's like to die alive?

When the world that once had color fades to white and gray and black...
When tomorrow terrifies you, but you'll die if you look back.

You don't know.
I know you don't know.
You say that you're hurting--
It sure doesn't show.
You don't know...
It lays me so low
When you say let go,
And I say
You don't know.

The sensation that you're screaming,
But you never make a sound.
Or the feeling that you're falling,
But you never hit the ground--
It just keeps on rushing at you
Day by day by day by day...
You don't know
You don't know what it's like to live that way.
Like a refugee, a fugitive, forever on the run...
If it gets me, it will kill me-- but I don't know what I've done.

DAN
Can you tell me
What it is you're afraid of?
And can you tell me why I'm afraid it's me?
Can I touch you?
We've been fine for so long now,
How could something go wrong that I can't see?
'Cause I'm holding on,
And I won't let go
I just thought you should know...

I am the one who knows you,
I am the one who cares,
I am the one who's always been there.
I am the one who's helped you
And if you think that I just don't give a damn,
Then you just don't know who I am.

Could you leave me

GABE
Hey, Dad, it's me.

DAN
Could you let me go under?

GABE
Why can't you see?

DAN
Will you watch as I drown
And wonder why

GABE
I wonder why.

DAN
Are you bleeding?

GABE
Are you waiting, are you wishing,
Are you wanting all that she can't give?

DAN
Are you bruised, are you broken?

GABE
Are you hurting, are you healing,
Are you hoping for a life to live?

DAN
Does it help you to know
That so am I

GABE
Well, so am I.

DAN
Tell me what to do

GABE
Look at me.

DAN
Tell me who to be

GABE
Look at me.

DAN
So I can see what you see.

GABE
And you'll see...

DAN
I am the one who'll hold you

GABE
I am...

DAN
I am the one who'll stay

GABE
I am...

DAN
I am the one who won't walk away.

GABE
I won't walk away.

DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who'll hear you

GABE
I am...

DAN
And now you tell me that I won't give a damn

GABE
You don't give a damn.

DAN
But I know you know who I am.

GABE
Who I am

DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

GABE
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

DAN
That's who I am

GABE
I am

DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

GABE
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

DAN
That's who I am

GABE
Who I am

DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

GABE
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

DAN
That's who I am.
'Cause I'm holding on...

DIANA
You say you hurt like me...

GABE
And I won't let go...

DIANA
You say that you know...

DAN and GABE
Yeah, I thought you should know.
Oh...

DIANA
Oh...
You don't know.

DAN and GABE
I am the one who knows you,

DIANA
I know you don't know.

DAN and GABE
I am the one who cares,

DIANA
You say that you're hurting,
I know it ain't so.

DAN and GABE
I am the one who's always been there.

DIANA
You don't know...

DAN and GABE
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who needs you

DIANA
Why don't you just go?

DAN and GABE
And if you think that I just
Don't give a damn

DIANA
'Cause it lays me low
When I say,

DAN
Then you just don't know who I am

DIANA
You don't know...

DAN
Who I am

DIANA
You don't know...

DAN
Who I am

GABE
You just don't know who I am.

Musical theater/opera singing vs pop singing

Pop music often rankles me. Unimaginative singing always stuck in that tenor-alto range (you would think that basses, baritones, mezzo-sopranos, and sopranos didn't exist). What happened to dynamics? Apparently, crescendo and decrescendo don't exist either. Strip away the instrumentals and you discover that the vocal part is exceedingly dull.

Putting aside my personal distaste, I still don't quite understand the distinction between the singing that's done in musical theater and opera and the singing in contemporary pop music. I looked around a bit on the web for some opinions.

Dave Malloy, a musical theater composer, wrote a very recent essay about the evolution of musical theater. He says that musical theater hasn't succeeded in reaching main stream audiences because it's either trying to be ironic or because when they do rock or pop music on stage, it's the musical theater version of it and not authentic (as in, the composer is trying to write something he/she isn't familiar with). The people who write musical theater scores come from the Broadway tradition and not from rock bands or jazz clubs.

Malloy makes an interesting point that contemporary style singing is about putting the performer first whereas in musical theater, it's about playing a character. I'm not sure I completely understand it. I guess in pop music, the artist is performing to draw attention to themselves, saying "This is me. Listen to me. This is what I want to tell you." Musical theater songs are a moment in a larger narrative and very specific to that moment. Pop music is frequently generic, so people can sing those songs anywhere without context.

New York Times critic, Ben Brantley, in a review of the rock musical Spring Awakening, writes about the difficulty of using pop and rock music in musical theater.

Problems also arise from the challenge of making pop music function as theater music. Pop and rock are best at evoking moods and emotions or announcing attitudes, not heightening a narrative point or defining a specific character. Mr. Sheik's music, orchestrated for a small rock band supported by cello and bass, is often gorgeous in its soaring melodies and gentle rhythms, but its lushness can overwhelm Mr. Sater's moody lyrics, artful and evocative though they often are. And we often seem to be hearing the same notes — yearning, tempestuousness, anger — repeated in song after song; the show becomes saturated in a general plaintiveness that can be enervating.

My interpretation of Brantley's comments is this: to move the plot or define character, you need change, which in music is signified by varying the tempo or dynamics, things that aren't really done in pop/rock music, particularly because a lot of pop music nowadays is also dance music. You can't suddenly change the beat in dance music.

In The Guardian, Orlando Gough wonders if opera singers can perform pop and launches into a discussion of how opera singing is different than other types of singing.

He states that in pop and jazz, singers often "throw notes away" (which I take to mean, they don't try to sing every note perfectly). Also, he makes this interesting remark:

Part of becoming an opera singer is about making one's voice cast iron, invulnerable. Of course one learns to do vulnerability on stage, but it's a guise. Underneath, there must be no chink. Folk or pop or jazz is different – the balance between vulnerability and control is always evident in the voice, and the tension is palpable. It's not to do with lack of technique; it's about allowing the vulnerability to show.

I don't really understand this either. There are plenty of great actors who are raw and vulnerable and it seems like this style of acting is universally beloved by critics. But we know they are "acting"; they aren't as neurotic or unstable as their character. They're just really good at acting.

Gough makes a point that I do understand. When you perform "standards" like musical theater pieces, jazz songs, operas that have been done many times, you're doing someone else's work and it's more like acting. Whereas when you sing songs that you've personally written or songs that were written for you or music that comes from your culture, that kind of singing comes from a different place.

He mentions the Malian singer Salif Keita who comes from the Western African tradition of singing praise and storytelling. I can see that this type of folk music would be authentic in a way that professionally composed music (like in musical theater/opera) is not. But I don't see why you can't be both raw and technically trained. Going back to actors, you find that most of the critically acclaimed actors who deliver "authentic" performances also went to drama school, worked in theatre, or had some kind of training.

Finally, I found an article in The Chicago Tribune which summarizes some scientific research on the characteristics of a hit pop song. The software they use to predict hit pop songs is not super accurate but it indicates that a simple rhythm, danceability, and "loudness" are key to making a hit pop song today.

Song of the day: "The National Pastime" by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

I just watched the pilot episode of NBC's new TV show Smash. My favorite song is "The National Pastime", which alludes to the Marilyn-Joe DiMaggio relationship. It's a sly, double-entendre, throwback number -- which I love. You should watch it live with the beautiful choreography. It reminds me -- where have you gone Broadway dance? The last great dance routines I saw were on a revival of West Side Story.

MARILYN: (spoken) Fellas!
CHORUS: (spoken) Yeah?
MARILYN: (spoken) Fellas!
CHORUS: (spoken) Is it?
MARILYN: (spoken) Hey, team!
CHORUS: (spoken) Off the benches, it's Marilyn!

MARILYN:
I just got a date
CHORUS:
She's just got a date
MARILYN:
With baseball's Joltin' Joe
CHORUS:
That lucky so-and-so
MARILYN:
So run me 'round the bases,
Put me through my paces,
And teach me all the things a slugger's lover
Should know!

MARILYN:
What's that there?
CHORUS:
That's the pitcher's mound
MARILYN:
Have you ever seen a shape
That is so perfectly round
CHORUS:
Batter up
MARILYN:
Play ball
CHORUS:
You better give it your all
'Cause all men like to play at
MARILYN:
The national pastime.

MARILYN:
Who's that man?
CHORUS:
That's the first base coach
MARILYN:
Have you noticed that he signals
Every time I approach?
CHORUS:
Kill the ump
MARILYN:
Throw him out
CHORUS:
Because there isn't a doubt
That all men like to play at
MARILYN:
The national pastime.

MARILYN:
When I was just a little girl
I liked being dainty and purty
But now that I'm giving sports a whirl
I feel I kinda like to get dirty
CHORUS:
Yeah!

CHORUS:
Baby, what's that there?
MARILYN:
That's the team's bullpen
And I like the odds I'm seeing
No girls, all men
CHORUS:
Hit the deck, look alive,
Beware the lady's line drive
MARILYN:
Yes, my skill and my passion'll
Elevate the national --

(interlude)

MARILYN:
Peanuts!
Hot dogs!
Cracker jack!
I don't care, I don't care,
If I ever get back!

(interlude)

CHORUS:
When the season's over
The play won't end
MARILYN:
'Cause a baseball diamond is a girl's best friend...
CHORUS:
Yes, her style and her fashion'll
Elevate the national pastime!

Link of the day: "Advice on Getting Better from an Accomplished Piano Player"

I follow Cal Newport's blog, whose theme is something along the lines of how to live your life, so that you are creative and get a lot of (real) work done while staying sane.

I liked one of his recent posts where he discussed a piano player's strategy to becoming better. The strategies of "Avoid Flow. Do What Does Not Come Easy; To Master a Skill, Master Something Harder; Systematically Eliminate Weakness" -- they all fit the general strategy of deliberate practice, which I've discussed in the past here and here.

The last strategy "Create Beauty, Don’t Avoid Ugliness" fits into the general strategy of visualization. In sports, coaches talk a lot about visualizing your success or visualizing your strategies to deal with a particular situation. For example, if you are a forward playing ice hockey, you could visualizing the three different moves you'd use to score a goal on a breakaway. But visualization can be extended to so many other situations beyond athletic and musical performance. When you get up in the morning, you can script your day and visualize how you want things to go.